As Each Month Passes

I sat in thought for a long time before even knowing where to begin with all of this.

How should I begin my blog?
What should my first post be about?
What if people don't like it?

And then I began to think about why I started this blog. Do I want people to follow it and enjoy it, maybe get some little nuggets of knowledge along the way, of course! Do I want you to come away with recipes and tips and things to help you along your fit journey? Yes! But I also want you to get to know me and my family through all of this. And so with that, I give you my first post, sharing with you the hardest part about my life journey so far!

Many of you know I am a mom to a beautiful baby girl {or should I say toddler, as she's 2 years old now} and am married to my wonderful husband, Brandon. We have been together since our freshman year of college, so 12 years with this man, and 7 years of marriage. Blessed for sure! With marriage, you very well know I'm sure, comes trials along the way. Well, when our family of two decided we wanted to add a baby to the mix, we were beyond excited and couldn't wait to welcome a little bundle to our family.  So we began thinking about that next step in 2010. We tried and tried and as each month passed, I began to worry if I would ever become a mommy. I knew thats what I wanted more than anything, I knew that was something missing from my life and I just knew that God had a plan for us. But each month would come, and each month would go, and still nothing. Frustration set in, and doubts crept in too.

It was a trying time in our marriage, and with months of disappointment, we decided it was best to seek help from my doctor. I was placed on medication to help with fertility and stuck with that for the 3 months the doctor recommended. At the 3 months mark, I met with the doctor because nothing was working. She suggested trying the medication for the maximum length recommended, 6 months...And so we did. But the fourth month came and went, the fifth month - nothing...On the sixth month, I prayed that God would take this fear and worry away from me, and I gave it all to Him. There was a certain peace with that, knowing that I had no control and was giving that to Him. On Christmas Eve, the last week of the last month of medication, Westley was conceived! Crazy how that all works right? The moment we stop WORRYING and trying to control things, the moment it happens.

We have been blessed with two wonderful years with that little spitfire, baby girl and I wouldn't trade it for the WORLD. Being a mommy has definitely been the most fulfilling thing I've ever done and I am grateful for her and the joy she's brought into our lives.

So where am I going with this? Well...We are now ready to grow our little family once more. And we have been trying for months. Each month comes and each month passes...We haven't sought medication or help this time around, just yet. I'm not against it and would definitely do it again, but wanted to share WHY I am eating well and exercising daily. Part of the reason I changed my lifestyle was to provide nutrients for Westley as I nursed her and to teach her healthy living as she grew older, developing healthy habits early on. Now that we are struggling to get pregnant this time around, I want to focus on my eating habits and staying active. I want to attempt to get pregnant without the medications that left me gaining weight, feeling unhappy, and not myself. The best thing I can do for this baby who we have yet to meet, is to be a healthy mom BEFORE I get pregnant. So I am working on that, and I pray that in His timing, God allows us to welcome another sweet babe into this world!

Until then, I will enjoy these two blessings that are a part of my life and continue to push me on my journey as a healthy, happy fitwife & mom. <3